It seems like as soon as we decided we wanted to start expanding our family we learned we were expecting our first child. Everything seemed to be going normal until our 18 week scan. The appointment started out great, we got to see our baby move around on the screen and here its heartbeat (always my favorite part) then they told us we were going to be having a little boy. I can’t even think to describe how happy and excited we were. But a few minutes later we were told that it seemed like our little boy (who we decided to name Sean Christopher) wasn’t growing/developing properly. He was smaller than he should be for his gestation. I was sent for blood work and an amniocentesis to try and get some answers. But none of the tests were showing anything that could cause him to be growth restricted. As time went on Sean’s development wasn’t improving but we decided to remain optimistic and enjoy the pregnancy and started to prepare to bring him home. Then, at 26 weeks pregnant, I went into labor and my water broke. Luckily the doctors were able to stop my labor, but since my water broke it was just a matter of time before I delivered Sean. So I stayed in the hospital, being monitored very closely, hoping and praying that it would be months before I delivered him. Then the morning of March 1st arrived. During my routine morning heartbeat check it was discovered that we had lost Sean during the night. Words cannot describe the pain I felt hearing that the baby, my baby, that I had so desperately wanted and loved had died. I was immediately sent to labor and delivery and was induced. 12 hours later Sean Christopher Parrinello was born weighing under 1 pound. He was beautiful and perfect, our little angel. Loosing him was the hardest thing I had ever gone through and all I wanted was my baby back. A few months later, we decided to try again. I found out I was pregnant just a few days after my birthday, and it was an amazing birthday gift. We were excited, and terrified and the same time. But we kept telling ourselves that it could never and would never happen again. I was so scared for our 18 week scan and to possibly learn that there may be issues. I was overjoyed when the doctor told me that everything was perfect with our second baby, and that we were having another boy! We decided to name him Max Harrison. Everything was going so well this time around and we were again getting excited and started preparing to bring our son home. Around Christmas I had noticed that Max wasn’t moving around as much as he used to. After a few days of not feeling any movement I reluctantly called the doctor, terrified that my worst nightmare had come true. When I went to the doctor I couldn’t believe that I was actually hearing the words “I am sorry, but there is no heartbeat” again. We were so confused, everything had been going great. Just like with Sean I was immediately induced and 12 hours later Max Harrison Parrinello was born weighing almost 1 pound and just as beautiful and perfect as his older brother Sean. Once Max was born it became obvious what had happened, he was tangled in the cord. Loosing my babies is so incredibly difficult to deal with and it’s something that I battle with on a daily basis. But someone once told me that Sean needed Max more than we did, and as much as it breaks my heart to not have them with me it also brings me peace to think that they may be together. They are the first things I think of when I wake up, the last thing I think of when I go to bed and all I dream about. They are loved and missed so much by so many people, and I am proud to be able to call myself their mommy.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story and learn about our baby who will only live on in our hearts… forever. We would like to ask that you help the organization that has helped us and helps so many others in their times of need.

All donations made to this page are made in loving memory of our baby gone too soon and will be used towards the WNYPBN’s Program.