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Our Story of Love at First Sight…

When I found out I was expecting twins, I was In disbelief, shock and so excited!! I myself am an identical twin so finding that out was so cool, because my twin sister and I have always had such a powerful and great relationship. It’s honestly a bond I can’t really explain. My pregnancy at first was great!! The twins, were very healthy and measuring a few weeks ahead but around 16 weeks my regular OBGYN saw something on the ultrasound she didn’t like. My first concern, was are my babies ok??! She assured me at that time, yes but that I was being referred downstairs to a perinatal doctor. She had noticed my cervix had started funneling- a horrible sign at that early on.. when I had gotten downstairs, they did their initial exam and told me they wanted me to try vaginal suppositories that would hopefully strengthen my cervix. Two days later I came back- no change in fact, my cervix was softer. From there I was told to go to UC Health in Aurora to have an emergency rescue cerglage placed. A cerclage is a stitch in the cervix that is placed surgically. It was very risky because it had so so outcomes. I was determined to save my babies at any cost, so I went through with the surgery.Afterwards, I was told to take it easy, and everything appeared fine. Around 2 weeks later, I noticed I had a lot of leakage in my underwear.... concerned I called the OBGYN. She told me what she was hearing she didn’t like the sound of it, and was the told any more fluid like gushing you NEED to get to the ER fast! Around 4 am gush! I phoned my mom and woke my husband up to drive me to the nearest hospital. My worst fears were confirmed, when they verified it was amniotic fluid and the membranes were exposed. The nurses could not get my blood pressure to go down, and Littleton Hospital didn’t have the perinatal team there so I was flight for life rushed back to UC Health in Aurora. Now at UC health, I was given options a,b and c which all were horrific to hear. I had to go back into surgery, to remove the cerclage because either way I was going to have to deliver one baby. Cerclage removal was a success, but back in the room I was then told I had already started dilating. About 45 minutes later I delivered my first son Christian. He was beautiful, just so small and came out kicking. His lungs weren’t developed at 20 weeks. To this day, I am traumatized by watching him pass. I thought I could save my second son Connor, but 40 minutes later my water broke again! Once again I had to watch him pass. I cannot begin to describe the horror. I held my babies the entire night and into the morning. The most empty I have ever felt in my life, was leaving my babies after I was discharged from the hospital. I have my sons ashes and have two tattoos now in memorium. I love them both dearly and wish the outcome would have been different. My husband and I both still are hopeful to have a child one day. I pray for a rainbow baby after such a storm. Only time will tell and I hope by sharing my story it may help someone.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story and learn about our baby who will only live on in our hearts… forever. We would like to ask that you help the organization that has helped us and helps so many others in their times of need.

All donations made to this page are made in loving memory of our baby gone too soon and will be used towards the WNYPBN’s Program.