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Our Story of Love at First Sight…

I've shared my baby loss stories countless times over the last couple of years, mostly online within a community of other moms who have also lost their precious babies. It's been a while since I've shared and have grown as a person in my healing journey. Although my heart will never be whole again with my four sweet babies in Heaven, I have become stronger and will always do my best to honor them and keep their memory alive.

In late winter of 2012, my boyfriend, Ryan and I found out we were expecting. Although unplanned, with many first time pregnancies, we were both scared and over the moon all at the same time. A few weeks before our first ultrasound appointment, I had a dream we were going to have identical twins and couldn't keep that in and told just about everyone I could. Fast forward a couple of weeks, we weren't exactly surprised when the tech said we were having identical twins! Several days later, Ryan proposed and I said Yes! Life couldn't be more perfect. Several days later on May 18, 2013, our hearts shattered as we learned I miscarried the babies after heavily bleeding out of nowhere. Our world was flipped upside down and we were beyond devastated to not have our twins.

Life carried on over the next several months. Much to our surprise, I found myself pregnant in early February of 2013. At our first appointment, we were absolutely dumbfounded to learn I was again expecting another set of identical twins. Something wasn't quite right. I should have been 8 weeks pregnant at the time of the ultrasound and both babies were measuring at 6 weeks 2 days. That was a cause for concern for our doctor. Another concern was that Baby B had a much weaker heartbeat than Baby A. We came back a week later to learn that Baby A had grown a whole week and was developing beautifully, while Baby B had stopped growing at 6w2d and no longer had a heartbeat. It was concluded Baby B passed away sometime that day after the first ultrasound on February 28, 2013. Ryan and I were absolutely heartbroken once again and held onto every bit of hope that Baby A would continue to grow. Weeks went by and we learned that Baby A was a she! (Which also meant Baby B was a she as well!) We decided to name her Arianna Marie. Again, weeks went by and I got into a car accident. Both Arianna and I were okay, I was just in a good deal of pain. There are many questions if the accident had anything to do with it, but I went into early labor 3 weeks later and delivered Arianna on June 8, 2013. She graced our lives for 80 precious minutes before she passed away surrounded by her parents, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts and uncles. In her short life, she has known only love. A tremendous and never ending amount of love at that. Our lives are forever changed and hearts will never be whole again.

With not being able to work due to a back injury from the car accident, a small service was held for Arianna on June 22, 2013. Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network (WNYPBN) was there in a time that we couldn't give Arianna everything she needed. A donation was made from the Wings of Love Memorial Fund to help pay for Arianna's grave marker. Ryan and I still can't begin to say how much the donation meant to us to give our baby girl everything she deserved.

Please find it in your heart to make a donation in memory of Arianna and our 3 Angels to WNYPBN/Wings Of Love Memorial to help families going through the devastating loss of their baby(ies) in hopes that this can relieve any bit of financial burden they may be facing. Although Ryan and I may no longer be together, we hope that our friends and family can support our cause to help other families in need.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story and learn about our baby who will only live on in our hearts… forever. We would like to ask that you help the organization that has helped us and helps so many others in their times of need. All donations made to this page are made in loving memory of our baby gone too soon and will be used towards the WNYPBN’s Programs.